You perform at a 13 year old's Bat Mitzvah in Florida. And your name is Ja Rule (aka Uncle Ja), Ashanti and/or Omarion. Teenager Lands the Stars at Her Bat Mitzvah [Daily Dish]
Your pet monkey, Baby Luv, attacks you and The Giant dumps you all in the same week. Paris Hilton Bitten By Her Pet Monkey [Spotlighting News]
Paris Hilton Gets Dumped [Dose]
There is a strategic game on the Internet that challenges you to wax the chest hair of of you, one of our most revered actors.
Wax on Wax Hoff [via Popbitch]