media martini: 05/01/2005

5.31.2005

Britney Spears Loves Her Feet-us

[Photo: CelebWeb.org]

Paris Hilton Engaged

Paris Hilton is engaged to Paris Latsis. No wedding date has been set, no raunchy video has been recovered and no sign of this event actually taking place has been given.

Katie Holmes is engaged for the second time this year. It must be true love! After breaking things off with Chris Klein in March the actress has been on an all-out media rampage with “boyfriend” Tom Cruise. Holmes has reportedly moved in with Cruise and is even taking Scientology classes.

Cruise Pops Question [Page Six via Gawker]

5.27.2005

American Inmates: You Be the Judge

Wow, another American Idol contestant has been arrested. Kimberly Caldwell (who was on the second season) is currently an "Idol" expert on Fox News Live and an "entertainment correspondent" on the TV Guide Channel. In her spare time she also likes to drink and drive.

Former Idol Contestant Arrested [contactmusic.com]

5.26.2005

Party With Tara and Kato for Only $75

Breaking: It's finally happened! Party toy Tara Reid has reached the same low level of insignificance as professional freeloader Kato Kaelin.

5 Bars for 5 Kinds of 500 Fun [IndyStar.com]

But Macy, Your Fashion Sense Sucks

Macy Gray is dropping a new clothing line like a turd into water this year. The singer is getting behind a retro fashion line she's calling "ghetto chic." The rest of the world will just call it "really ugly Lenny Kravitz-on-crack" look.

Macy Gray Tries On Clothing Line, Rapper/Stripper/Burglar Role [MTV News]

5.25.2005

Peach Pits for 90210 Crew

Sorry Aaron Spelling, you couldn't make TV magic happen for old horse face this time around. It looks like daughter Tori's NBC pilot Notorious isn't going to be picked up for this coming season. What's more, Tori's Beverly Hills 90210 pal Luke Perry and his new FOX show couldn't make the cut either. Come on! Can't the troops rally a little? What about a loud "Donna Martin Graduates" for good measure.

A Moment of Silence for Our Late, Great Faves [dailypress.com]

Non-Gay Man Calls Ex Non-Bigot

Tom Cruise is out of control! Tonight on Access Hollywood, the raging ball of emotions and love told Billy Bush that his ex, Nicole Kidman, is not a scientologist. He then went on to tell the host that Kidman is also not a bigot. Thanks for the clarification, Tom!

Tom: 'Nic Is Not A Bigot' [Access Hollywood]

Around the World With 80 Pounds

Mary Kate Olsen and her Giant have taken to the high seas! Bon Voyage!

Eva Has to Make Up Her Mind

JC Chasez, Out
Keifer Sutherland, Out
Hayden Christensen, Out
Tony Parker's Dad, IN

[Photo: JJB]

Burt Reynolds Shows His Pimp Hand

Burt Reynolds slapped a CBS producer Tuesday night at the screening of The Longest Yard in Manhattan. The producer said he never saw the original 1974 flick, so Reynolds beated the bitch's ass and made him squeal like a pig.

Burt Reynolds Slaps Television Producer [Newsday]

5.24.2005

The Muppets Take Manhattan

[Photo: JJB]

Drew Barrymore Turns Into Jay Leno

[Photo: JJB]

Scientologists So Crazy

What the hell is wrong with Tom Cruise? What the hell is wrong with Katie Holmes for dating him? And what the hell is wrong with Oprah for getting all frisky on the couch? Anyone who missed Cruise's unhinged appearance on Oprah yesterday afternoon should consider themselves very lucky. The guy has completely lost it in his balls-to-the-wall attempt to make himself appear heterosexual.

5.23.2005

Marc Anthony Is Skeevy

[Photo: JJB]

Holmes Second Choice for Cruise

Before Tom Cruise picked Katie Holmes to be his summer love interest/movie-promoting machine/current beard, he had his sights set on Kate Bosworth. Bosworth wasn't interesting in helping him out...

Kate to Katie [The Front Page via Gawker]

Mary Kate Olsen Gets Her Own Giant

5.20.2005

Ross: Cokehead, Psychopath

Poor David Schwimmer, he can't get no respect. After hauling his struggling ass out of the gutter, making millions and becoming uber-famous on Friends (his stint as "Sonny" on Blossom doesn't count) the guy still can't get away from his alter ego Ross.

"Whether I'm playing a cokehead screenwriter or a psychopath or whatever - it's just Ross as a cokehead, Ross as a psychopath."

Versatile Schwimmer Bemoans the Curse of Friends [contactmusic.com]

J. Lo's Butt Seen From Moon

[Photo: JJB]

They're Back!

Spice Girls in Comeback Special [SurreyOnline]

5.19.2005

Going to the Chapel

It's legal! Mary Kay is gonna be Vili-fied.

Reports: Letourneau, Fualaau to Wed Friday [myway.com]

Kimberly Stewart Saves the World

Kimberly Stewart (aka the poor man's Paris Hilton) has gone public with her bout with plastic surgery. The soon-to-be Simple Life star told The Insider that she received breast implants at the age of 18 and then got them removed 4 years later when she had a "clearer vision." It's sooooo sweet of Stewart to help young women all over the world facing the pressures of trying to look beautiful and constantly having to ask the age-old question, "do ya think I'm sexy?"

It's just funny that this PSA comes months after she gave Jack Osbourne her signed implants to hang on his wall...but it's perfect timing for some shameless self-promotion. Go Kim!

Kimberly Stewart's Plastic Surgery Secret [The Insider]

Best Photo Op Ever!

[Photo: thecroz.net]

Sorry Miss Jackson...

But is your weave for real?

[Photo: JJB]

5.18.2005

Toy Story

Michael Jackson just keeps on bringing the bitch down! Latoya Jackson has been told to "keep her distance" from Wacko Jacko and his Jesus juice funnel of fun in order to salvage her own singing career. Latoya is reportedly even considering changing her name to "Toy," separating her even futher from the Jackson name.

Latoya Jackson Warned to Keep Her Distance [SF Gate]

Desperate Pothead

[Photo: Yahoo! TV]

Housewives' Actor Caught Smoking Pot [Newsday.com]

5.16.2005

Lindsay Lohan Is Hot!

[Photo: JJB]

5.15.2005

Wild on Rodman

[Photo: Wire Image]

Crack Is Whack Pt. II

J. Lo's all Whitney Houston style.

Chappelle Sane, Everyone Else So Crazy

Chappelle Speaks: What I Did for $50 Million [Drudge Report]

5.13.2005

Hollywood Herpes Precription List

Stay away from David HasselHerpes and Britney Spears-Bleeding Lesions.

Celebrities With Herpes [GossipList.com]

Britney Spears Is Fake!

Jason Alexander, the former Mr. Britney Spears is dissing his ex-wife, saying that she has a lot of "cosmetic help." These days, it looks like she needs a lot more.

Spears' Ex-Husband Falls for Another Britney [SF Gate]

Diddy Hit by Lightning, Career Not Revived

Puff Daddy Struck by Lightning [hecklerspray.com]

5.12.2005

How Does It Feel?

Cate Blanchett is set to play Bob Dylan in an upcoming biopic on the singer's life...

Just Like a Woman [The Age]

Is J.Lo Preg-O?

Rumor Check: Is Jen Pregnant? [People.com]

Pay Day: When White Trash Shops

[Photo: JJB]

Deep Thoughts With Paris Hilton

On her catch phrase, "That's hot," catching on big: "That's hot."

On whether anyone else can say "That's hot" now that she has copyrighted it: "No, you can say it."

On what they'll name the kids: "Paris. Paris, Paris, Paris."

On whether she's really as vapid as she acts: "I'm a lot smarter than most people think...I just don't like to show it. I don't know, maybe it's because I'm blond, and I think it's cuter and sweet."

On is there anything Paris can't do: "Fly."

[As interviewed by Bob Strauss/Los Angeles Daily News]

Paris Hilton on Working, Dying and Being Smart [The Mercury News]

5.10.2005

Ivy League Gets Thorns

[Photo: Yale Research]

Yale's Louis Vuitton® Sidewalk [Law Meme]

5.09.2005

Pam and Tommy Back Together

Just days after breaking up with her boyfriend Stephen Dorff, Pam Anderson is back with Tommy Lee. The two were seen "all over each other" at one of their son's baseball games.